I so want a grandchild

My oldest son is 21. A year before he was born I already wanted to be a mother. I used to reprimand other people's children. Complete strangers. You'd find me in the drugstore telling some innocent boy what he should not be touching, giving unasked advice to another... Playing or rehearsing mom roles with my neighbors' offspring.

I so wanted to be a mother.

My then husband (ok, live in boyfriend) didn't. He was right too. We were still college students. Did I already tell you that women will never learn?

Women will never learn. So there I was on my senior year already looking for ways to get pregnant... Like there is more than one way to get pregnant for a broke 20 year old.

Boys, youngsters, sophomores... If you are reading, read this: take care of your condoms... Make sure you manage them yourself. Nobody should be touching your condom but you. Is like being on the driver seat on a highway and have another take the wheel without changing places. Suicidal.

So...

When I got pregnant for the second time (the first was a natural miscarriage... at 20, nobody had to tell me that big lump was an unborn baby). I managed to tell him when it was a bit too late to even consider alternate solutions. I didn't even have a problem anyhow. I know, it wasn't fair for him, but I do not apologize. Twenty some years later, my son is still his only son. If you'd peek on my other hubs, you know my son's father and I are not together anymore and that is not even the issue.

The issue is my son is his vivid portrait. The issue is he is indeed a proud father, and that he owes that to me. And is all good.

I'm done with being a mother now. Well not really, I still have my other two precious, they're eight and eleven, still going. They are so well behaved overall... hahaha! overall... So obedient, you know, really. Funny and caring... At their tender age, I see them made already.

Just today my eleven year old princess finished eating. At home everybody cares for their own plates. So she had to really go to the bathroom. Her brother tells her: "Well, if you have to go, go..." She replies that she does not want to because she wants to finish doing her plate first as it is supposed to... I've created a monster.

In any event, I'm looking forward to a next generation. I wanna be one of those go-go grandma!

This is a secret though. My son is convinced I don't want him to have children at all, not yet. I can afford to publish this here because, well one can never say never, but it would be a magical miracle if he ever reads one of my rambles.

Especially when he "enjoys" front seat listening to them directly in living color.

I tell him all the time how important it is that he pursues his degree. He's in the military, has a cute girlfriend, and my preach is: "Enjoy with no convoy!"

At their age, of course thay are entitled to enjoy one another, with proper precautions, aka any kind of pill or rubber that will prevent them from further preparing for life as well-rounded adults.

But the truth is, deep inside, I am a bit more than curious about becoming a grandma. I don't want to say I Wish. I don't want to take it that far. I just have this constant thought of him bringing my grandson over and I looking at this precious creature in search for familiar traits.

Making sure the house is quiet so he can take his nap. Not having to worry that much for his discipline. Being able to sit back and relax to enjoy my son now as a dad.

That must be nice... Like completing a circle of Life. Cheers to all my happy grandmas and grandpas out there!